Ist das wirklich so einfach?
Wenn ich meine Kinder nicht mehr sehen kann, dann baue ich mir einfach eine neue Familie auf. Dann tut es nicht mehr so weh. ...
Ja und Nein. So einfach ist es dann leider doch nicht.
Eine Trennung hinterlässt starke Gefühle der Traurigkeit, Einsamkeit, Wut. Schmerzen, die aus Unverständnis, verletztem Stolz und Hilflosigkeit entstehen können, führen nicht selten zu unterschwelligen Aggressionen, Depressionen (Aggression nach Innen), Krankheiten, Süchten, Ängsten oder allgemeines Unwohlsein.
Wende ich mich gegen meine Emotionen und Gedanken, erzeuge ich in mir "Ablehnungs"/"Trennungs"schmerzen und projeziere sie auf andere oder ignoriere sie, um damit leichter fertig zu werden. Doch was dort entsteht, ist ein brodelnder Vulkan, der eines Tages unkontrolliert ausbrechen kann.
Eine neue Familie ist eine wunderschöne Möglichkeit, sein Leben auf feste Füße zu stellen, doch wird sie einem den Schmerz über den erlittenen Verlust nicht nehmen. Nur wenn ich wie bei einem baufälligem Haus das Fundament saniere, also von Altlasten befreie, kann eine neue Beziehung wirklich neue stabile Formen annehmen. Ansonsten droht auch hier über Kurz oder Lang der Zusammenbruch.
Was hilft denn nun wirklich?
- Im Hier und Jetzt sein
- annehmen was ist
- sich seinen Gefühlen und Gedanken stellen
Wir leben heute, gerade jetzt in diesem Moment. Gestern war bereits und morgen wird erst noch sein. JETZT ist alles was im Moment zählt. Was nehme ich wahr, was denke ich, was fühle ich. Der Fokus auf den Moment, auf unseren Körper und den Atem ermöglicht uns im Alltag kurz anzuhalten. So kommen Gefühle und Gedanken in unser Bewusst-Sein, so zB. "Ich bin traurig. Es ist schwer auf meiner Bust, Mein Hals ist eng. Gerade habe ich an ... gedacht und dann kam diese Traurigkeit." Seine Gefühle zu fühlen, ohne sich von ihnen beherrschen zu lassen, ist ein wichtiger Schritt im Trauerprozesses. Der Weg geht nur da durch.
Manchmal sind unsere Gefühle so heftig, dass wir uns ihnen nicht alleine stellen wollen. Eine einfühlsame Begleitung, die durch den Prozess führt kann sehr hilfreich sein. Niemand muss da alleine durch! Lieber rechtzeitig Hilfe geholt, als am Ende des Lebens auf einen großen Schwerbenhaufen geschaut.
Ich begleite Sie gerne. Einfach einen Termin für ein kostenloses Gespräch vereinbaren.
Alles Liebe, Ihre Karen Lorenz
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