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Beziehung als Schutzschild vor Einsamkeit

Bedeutung gute Ehe

Gedanken zu der Bedeutung einer guten Ehe

aus dem Buch "Und Nietzsche weinte" von Irvin D. Yalom:

Ich stolperte in dem Buch über eine sehr interessante Textpassage. Darin unterhalten sich Nietsche und Dr. Breuer über die Bedeutung einer guten Ehe. Dort heißt es:

„Um sich wirklich gegenseitig gut zu sein, müsse sich jeder erst einmal selbst gut sein. Solange wir nicht anerkennen, dass wir alleine sind, benutzen wir den anderen nur als Schutzschild gegen die Einsamkeit. Nur wer herzhaft leben kann wie ein Adler -dem kein Zeuge zuschaut-, kann sich einem anderen in Liebe zuwenden; nur der ist fähig, .... (dem anderen) Wachstum zu wünschen.“

Starke Worte, doch dann fragte ich mich, wie lässt sich das praktisch umsetzen?

Im weiteren Verlauf des Buches meint Nietzsche, dass die Lösung ausschließlich in jedem Einzelnen liege. Jeder Mensch weiß selbst, was wirklich hinter der Situation steht, in der er sich gerade befindet und deshalb kennt auch nur er die Lösung. Das heißt, die Lösung steckt bereits in dem Problem und nur ich kenne sie.

Im Buch begibt sich Dr. Breuer nach vielen Ablenkungsmanövern auf die Suche nach seiner Lösung, indem er sich in Begleitung von Dr. Freud in einen Trancezustand begibt. Darin durchlebt er seine Situation, die Trennung von Frau, Kindern, Arbeit, Freunden und auch seine Affäre und dessen Folgen auf eine sehr intensive Art. Er fühlt Freude, Lust sowie den Schmerz und die damit verbundene Freiheit, aber auch die Traurigkeit und die Unsicherheit. Er lässt all seine Gefühle zu und durchlebt die verschiedenen Facetten.

Erst als die Emotionen abflauten, konnte er wieder klarer sehen. Er wechselte die Perspektive und erkannte jetzt das Geschenk seiner Ehe und seines Lebens.

Zurückgekehrt war ein deutlicher Wandel wahrzunehmen. Dr. Breuer war sich jetzt seiner Gefühle bewusst, was ihm Klarheit und Mut gab, seiner Frau aufrichtig gegenüber zu treten. Erst jetzt war er wirklich bereit, in der Tiefe ein glücklicher (Ehe-)Mann zu sein. Die Ehe bestand noch viele Jahre und beide waren sehr glücklich.

Mir zeigt dies deutlich, wie Heilung auf einer tiefen Ebene geschehen kann. Der wahre Held ist der Klient. Arzt, Berater, Coach, Therapeut sind nur Begleiter auf seiner Heldenreise.

Und ist das Ende einer solchen Reise ein Garant für eine gute Ehe? Gewiss nicht, aber es ist ein sehr wichtiger Schritt, damit sich zwei Menschen auf Augenhöhe, authentisch und wertschätzend begegnen können. Und selbst wenn es keinen Weg zurück in eine Partnerschafft gibt und eine Trennung unvermeidbar ist, bleibt die Erfahrung und die Möglichkeit, eine neue Beziehung auf einer anderen Ebene aufzubauen.

Gerne begleite ich Sie auf Ihrem Weg. Einfach ein kostenloses Erstgespräch vereinbaren.

Alles Liebe, Karen Lorenz

(Der Link zu Amazon ist ein Afilliate-Link und soll dem Leser dabei unterstützen, bei Interesse schnell das richtige Buch zu finden)

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